Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
