So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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