five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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