I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
