from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
