So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
