Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize
