the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
