Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
