Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
