I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
