im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
