Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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