I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
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