Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
