Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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