just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
