We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
