You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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