Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
