Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
