And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
