I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I wear drunk well.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize