I'm sorry my penis didn't work
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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