Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize
