Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
