Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
