You can't special order awesome
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
