Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize