he thought i was a dude.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
