Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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