and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
It's never too late to be topless.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
