I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
