M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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