I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize