so that wasnt chicken after all
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
