I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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