I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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