carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
