You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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