White coat. Heels.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
