I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
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