So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
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