I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I have aggressive nipples.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Randomize
