Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
