ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
They should really pass out barf bags in church
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
