he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
