i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Everyone says I win the strip club
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
