just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
