census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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