shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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