nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
