and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Randomize
