I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
