There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
