Only a mothe r could love this liver
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Randomize
