I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
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