I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
